You know what i hate, followers?? technology. like laptops, computers, i-pads, i-pods, etc etc, stuff like that. i know i'm kind of being a hypocrite right now, since im using a laptop to write this, but what else am i supposed to do?? i feel like i barely even know my family anymore because there's always technology to be on. literally, right now everyone in my family is on some sort of device and im stuck here complaining to people i barely know over the internet. i feel so unwanted and unnoticed sometimes, but how am i supposed to fix that?? i know if anyone were to notice me right now, they would ask why im crying, but how am i going to explain that to them???? UGH plus whatever varying degree of depression i have right now really isnt helping. i just feel so alone, wanting to actually do something with my family, but for some reason being to cowardly to speak up. so here i am just like everyone else, staring at a screen that takes me away from what's going on around me.
i am so very sorry for dumping this on all of you all of a sudden, but i needed to vent. if you are a family member of mine who happens to see this, im sorry. im sorry im too scared and anxious to tell you guys and talk to you. but i miss you all so much. all extended family, of course, but even those i live in the same household with. i dont know why it is so difficult for me to talk to you in person, but that doesnt mean i love you guys any less. i just have problems.